Chili Powder

Recipe!

The cookies got rave reviews from Zack's coworkers- it was a hit! Wanna try it out? Here you go! Thanks for sending it on the fly Mom!

Sour Cream Cookies

2 Eggs

1 C sugar

1 C sour cream

1/2 C (heaping) shortening

1 tsp soda

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla

3 C flour

In a large bowl, cream sugar & shortening, add eggs& sour cream and vanilla. Add dry ingredients (mixed together in a medium sized bowl). By hand, add nuts, chocolate chips (we used a little bit less than a bag of semi-sweet chips), or coconut. It will be very thick- you will have to use your muscles!

Drop by teaspoonfuls on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 until slightly brown on edges- like in Zack's picture!

Hippie Crackers

So I did the grocery shopping last night and got myself my yum hippie crackers.  Jen doesn't buy me my hippie crackers because she's afraid that she'll sprout spontaneous dreads if the touches the package.

The best part about hippie crackers is duping my friends into trying one for the first time, so I pawned one off on my buddy T. and his face was AWESOME.  Total sourpuss.

Me: "Don't they rock?  They're like a burst of flavor."

T. : "Yeah...they're like...flat Starburst." 

burger

Check out homey's In N Out burger.

Zelda's Pizza

If we're doing pizza posts I have to represent for Zelda's.  Zelda's Original Gourmet Pizza, this little ghetto pizza hole in the wall in Sacramento, is the best pizza ever.  I used to go there on weekends with my high school girlfriend, and the service would take the whole damn day.  We'd go there for lunch and have to eat lunch in the car because going there for lunch meant dinner.  The place has the main lights off and tiny Xmas lights and red tealights at every table, and you can't see jack.  The best sausage pizza of all time -- at least, that's what I ordered.  It's so dark in there you can't tell if your pizza is topped with pepperoni or sliced tomato.  Long live Zelda!

Xmas Beer!

I found this tasty treat last night when I ran to the store to get my wife an Amy's enchilada.  What a great bottle.  It's a lil stronger than your average beer (6% hooch) and as such it has that winey flavor on the back of the tongue sometimes.  Not bad though.  not as dark as I'd like my Xmas beers.  Light spice flavors and a warm holiday bread yumminess.  Made by Wychwood.

Xmas Beer!

Anchor Brewing from San Francisco puts out the best Xmas beer in the world.  Every year their Christmas and Happy New Year Ale is the yummiest Xmas beer.  The flavors change yearly, based on how many elves they can catch and grind up into the vats.  This year's blend tastes like biting a leaf of chocolate-flake-coated holly that has snickerdoodle essence sprinkled on it, while inhaling the smell of a sticky new Xmas tree.  Brews from previous years have been more chocolatey than this one, which is perfectly nutmeggy and cinnamonny -- but not too n & c.  I absolutely love that holiday booze.

Mr. Heatmiser sez:  Call me a cab!

Now I Gots Munchies!

It's Friday and the Productivity Bus dropped me off a couple hours early today.  I think I'll make the most of my slack by reading the FDA's Food Defect Action Levels!

Did you know?

• Maraschino cherries can have up to 5% of the total pieces be rejects due to maggots.
• Blackcurrant jam is good to go with up to 75% mold!
• Diced dates can have 5 or more dead insects (whole or equivalent) per 100 grams.
• And fig paste?  Why, fig paste can contain 13 or more insect heads per 100 grams!  Where'd the bodies go?
• Canned spinach can have an average of 50 or more aphids, thrips, and/or mites per 100 grams.
• Canned tuna's my favorite.  Up to two cans can have odors of decomposition or honey-combed tissue.  (I worked in a seafood dept. in a grocery store for a year and I never saw no honey-combed tissue.  I don't know what that is.)

Frosty Beverage

Hey, De!  I found something to wash down my Rap Snacks!

I'm Begging. On my knees and begging.

Please someone buy me these for Christmas.

Pecan

Marcel spent the evening sick to his stomach after he and his best friend shared a slimy pecan from the playground today.  I'd bet his friend got sick too. Mar said his pal wiped it off on his shirt and everything, but despite that effort he still got sick.  Poor kiddo -- he and I were driving home and his face was buried in my widemouth Nalgene bottle, which came dangerously close to having a new career as the resident pecan churl receptacle.

Later we were eating dinner -- me and Jen soup and sandwiches, Mar a Spartan lil' bagel -- and he was watching Salado cruise around the kitchen, trying to locate the source of that yummy soup smell.  Marcel said in his post-pecan smoky voice, "...I see where his poop comes out from...I see his little black spot..."

And then he went on to tell us how our soup's palette utilized the exact color range as the Ye Olde Pecane Churle. 

Same boy that today heard me call another car a jackass and then asked why I called that bad driver a Jackets.  Kids rule! 

Tea Torture

A colleague of mine just emailed me the official, yet rather Oscar Wilde-ish term for the tea action within the mug:

Agony of the leaves:  Expression escribing the unfurling of rolled or twisted leaves during steeping.

It doesn't have the pleasant connotations of an exultation of larks, but there it is, happening right in your mug...agony.  What a world.

This and other tea definitions can be found here.  My favorites are winey and woody.  Henceforth I shall describe all my tea as tasting 'like a winey woody'.

Cookie on a Stick

Hundreds of king-sized cookies on sticks have suddenly appeared in the kitchen at work!  They're everywhere!  They're HUGE.  I bet each cookie weighs a pound, which makes this a 1/4-ton load of cookie on a stick.  It's so surreal. 

Anyway, I grabbed two.  The Bachelors Gonzales will be having cookie on a stick for dinner tonight.  Maybe I'll let Mar wash his down with a coke.

For a relaxing time...

This evening Marcel and I were sitting at the table eating some chicken stir-fry and couscous. Marcel looks at me with this devilish grin and takes a sip of his water. And pauses. Then says "For a relaxing time..." Pause. Sip. Grin. Pause. "Make it Suntory Time".

Yup,  I let him watch a few select scenes from Lost in Translation about a month ago.  He did a perfect Bob Harris impression this evening.

Jennifer

Living out of the Igloo

So, neither one of has posted in days.   I guess that would be because Marcel came down with Strep Throat last week and Zack and I were juggling work and staying home with him.  Also on Thursday I found out that I received a promotion to a new position, that starts this week. A bit frazzled right now; things have been wild around here, to say the least. Also, while not really the reason why I didn't post, I must mention that our refrigerator crapped out on Saturday night-because I feel like complaining. 

On Saturday night, I noticed that the freezer was taking too long to freeze ice cubes. Now, we had some frozen margaritas on the agenda, and we needed ice.  So, I ran to the store and picked up a big bag of ice- not knowing I would be needing it later to pack a cooler with the contents of our refrigerator.  While sipping on margaritas, relaxing for the night, I opened up the refrigerator to get some water and found that it was warm and clammy. Great.  Not what I want to deal with on a Saturday night while I am relaxing. Not to mention I had just filled the freezer and refrigerator with mass quantities of food from Sam's Club on Friday. Well, since we are renters, I give a call to the on-call maintenance man, and he comes out and let us know it is dying and that we needed to put all of our stuff in a cooler until Monday when they could replace it. 

Now,  As some of you may know, I was a restaurant manager for 3 years, and had to take food handling courses.  Since then I have been freaked out about eating food that may have been in the danger zone.  I am PARANOID about it. I mean, Zack got food poisoning after eating leftovers that became contaminated just by driving 10 miles to our house on a hot summer day.  That was the only explanation, it wasn't served contaminated because I had some at dinner and was fine. Now I have never (knock on wood) had true food poisoning, but after seeing what he went through- whoo- don't want to know. So, anyway,  I had no idea how long that food had been like that, so I had to toss out most of the dairy products, some lunch meat, a bunch of vegetables, etc... I immediately threw my Margarita ice in a big cooler and iced down the foods that were somehow still cold. 

And we were living yesterday and this morning.  I had to go to the store to get 2 more bags of ice yesterday. This morning I had to plunge my hand into the cooler full of icy water to retrieve my coffee creamer.  I didn't need the caffeine after that anyway. That is only a fun thing to do when you are outside in the summer and getting a BEER. 

Jennifer

1970's Waistline Watchin'

Boy, is anybody else out there ready to see that waistline shrink?  Yessir, I know I am -- and that's why as of today I'm eating an exclusive diet of 1974 Weight Watchers recipes.  Yep.  After a couple of Frankfurter Spectacular servings, I'm gonna see some real results.  Time to let my gym membership expire.

zack

Comfort Food

I made my favorite comfort food yesterday, per Marcel's request.  If you are looking for a yummy baked mac and cheese recipe- check this one out. I got it out of one of my Mom's old cookbooks years ago, and have been making it ever since. For a twist, I added a special topping to make extra yum. 

Jennifer

That's Good Eatin Right There

I've eaten rolypolys and centipedes for my son.  I routinely eat my finger- and toenails.  When Marcel's umbilical cord crusted up and fell off, I ate it.  I used to snort Binaca in high school.  Once some buddies had to pull me away from a fat line of cayenne pepper (I SO would've died).  You could probably talk me into doing a poodle poo Divine style.  But nothing could have prepared me for Steve, Don't Eat It.   

I was just in the market for a role model too, what with the NBA in the offseason.  I'll be in the grody aisle of the I35 and 38th st Fiesta quick as a wink.  Steve just got an Austin franchise.

zack   

Hell

Hell, a pizza chain in New Zealand, knows its cheese.  More cheese, with fun facials, here.

zack

B to the E-licious!

Last week I scored a trifecta of all-around goodness and wished-for moments come to pass.  A promotion came my way; Tim Duncan made his free throws; and just when I thought my lucky week was at an end, what do I spy on Friday night at 7-11 but a lone frosty can of B to the E.

B to the E has been my elusive holy grail since last October, when Anheuser-Busch changed my life with the above linked-to press release.  It's Budweiser mixed with caffeine, gaurana, and taurine -- which is a fancy way of saying caffeine, caffeine, and yet more delicious caffeine.  The can's tagline reads Beer With Something Extra -- and that Something Extra at long last would get in mah belly!

It's really an awful idea for a product, the worst idea for a product.  An obvious salvo fired at the cute little mixariffic can of Red Bull -- and maybe if Grey Goose, Belvedere, or Stoli teamed up with Red Bull for a canned blend then that may be a good idea.  But Budweiser chose to ignore that no self-respecting collegiate lush would be caught dead ordering a Red Bull and Bud Lite. 

Months ago, enraged at the Austinwide B to the E drought, I confronted my local liquor store guys about the blatant absence of B to the E on their shelves, especially when they had rows of Red Bull in the fridge.  But they asked me why should they stock B to the E when they can stock Red Bull, which consistently upsells their vodka?  B to the E would put them out of business.  Why didn't Budweiser consult my liquor store dudes before inventing B to the E? 

All my work friends have been trying to talk me out of it too, telling me to let go of the B to the E., to move on.  But I said to hell with you work friends, I want my B to the E.  And now it would be me who had the last laugh, all 12 ounces of it.

Poor Jen was not stoked to see the B to the E when I came home, particularly as it was she who had asked me to go and grab us some beer (I also got a 6 of Shiner but that's so boring).  But I charmed her with my mad skills, and in one of those moments marriage is made for, we shared our first (and what would be our last) frosty can of B to the E.

B to the E is the beverage of Satan.  Nothing's worse.  Pee is better than B to the E.

The B to the E bouquet leaps out upon the can's opening.  It shines.  A bouquet not unlike a wrecked sorority coffeetable on Saturday morning, rancid from spilled jello shots, bongwater, and other various party piddles from the night before.

Then we took sips and together drew first blood.  Jen on the flavor of the first sip: "Cherry Kool-aid and wine cooler...something I would not want to throw up...circus drink...circus peanuts..."  I thought it tasted like a blend of boysenberries, rock salt, and eggs over easy.  Truly from hell.  Soon followed by the aftertaste, which swept my mouth away down a stagnant creek filled with cedar chips and hot chardonnay.

I thought if I drink too much of this I might turn into Paul Hamm.  I gotta get off the B to the E.  B to the E went straight from refreshing to euthanizing.  It crushed my will and gave me vertigo.  Beer with Something Extra...and I'm inclined to think that Something Extra just might be ipecac.

As is her way, Jen invented some of her own names for this 12 oz. nightmare.  Her top three:

1. B to the Igor
2. B to the Easter Grass
3. B to the Eagle Poop

zack   

SBUX celeb collage

Collage of dour 20-something celebs toting Starbucks, courtesy of cityrag.  I think Britney should lay off the fraps.

zack

Rambolicious

Rambo is selling pudding.  The images on this website are to die for -- preferably either by survival knife or explosive-tipped arrow.  Nothing says Italian Stallion like...tapioca.

zack

Paris cheeburger cheeburger

This commercial caused the CKE website to crash the other day upon release.  To think that all we Gen-Xers got was Mayor McCheese.  *sigh*

zack

Engrish.com

My new favorite site is Engrish.  Click the thumbnail for a larger image, then check out Engrish for more communication breakdowns.

zack    

Saved!

My parents rock! We got our latest shipment of holiday candy yesterday, and yes, it includes Mallo Cups! And a bunch of old-time candy (Mary Janes!) and a Ferrero Rocher heart.  I can put my search to rest, I have enough Mallo Cups to last for the next few months...

Thanks Mom & Dad! Happy Valentine's Day!

Jennifer

Ballet of Angels

I thought it would be fun to do some wine reviews for the blog. Now, I just started drinking wine a month ago, and only white wine, so I may not be the be best wine judge around.  I have stayed away from wine for the last 7 years because I had the worst hangover of my life after drinking an excess of cheap pink wine. I really don't know anything about wine. So with that said, here is my first review:

Ballet of Angels- "A Fruity, Semi-Dry White Wine". Sharpe Hill Vineyard

I bought this last night at Central Market for a pre-FronteraFest drink. Zack had been acting like he needed something to calm his nerves a bit. While I think he enjoyed the glass of wine, I do not think it did a bit of good for his nerves.

I was drawn to the bottle because it had this star tinsel-y stuff wrapped around the neck. I am a sucker for accoutrements. When Marcel saw that I had chosen the bottle with the star-tinsel stuff on it, he became fearful. Apparently it looked much like a fairy-tale potion to him, like the kind that Shrek drank to turn into a human. He asked me not to get it, because "if you drink it, you will turn into something..a frog".

So, I liked the wine. It was very tasty, not to dry and not too sweet. Thumbs Up.

Goes well with: Nervous husbands, salt-water taffy, plain tortillas, cold pepperoni pizza post-FronteraFest

Does not go well with: Girl Scout Thin Mints, coffee (don't ask...)

Jennifer

Saturday With the Gonz; Candyfreak

Family Saturdays are rites of passage that at their best can be relaxing even as you collectively shuttle about from appt. to appt.  Today was one such day for us.  Marcel's kung fu was so cool!  I'm glad I finally got to see it and meet Sifu Paul.  My son's cat stance is cooler than your son's cat stance.

Mar had a birthday party to attend after kung fu, which gave Jen and me a chance to catch up with many of our parent friends.  Mar's schoolmates have killer parents, great conversationalists with interesting lives.  We love our little pre-k community...and when our little pre-k community also involves CAKE, I turn into a regular Oscar Wilde out there, chatting it up with Jenny's mom, Eeshann's mom, moms from the adjacent party.

Jen got new glasses today, and they look great, very smart and sexy.  Very interesting and rectalgular...um, which is the way I typo 'rectangular' when I'm on crack.  Like right now.

Actually right now I'm basking in the glow of the book I started to read today:  Candyfreak.  Do not walk to the booksto'.  Do not run to the booksto'.  Haul massive buttocks to the booksto', flee in the direction of the booksto' as if you were being chased by an eight-year old, coke-addled Drew Barrymore starting fires with her mind!  Everyone in my life MUST read Candyfreak by Steve Almond. 

A sample passage:

Down on the third floor, wafer production was in full swing and I immediately experienced that overwhelming olfactory blast known as Halloween Smell; a free-floating bouquet of sugar, cocoa butter, and flavorings. [...] The paste was rolled into thin sheets and punched into the desired shape.  This punching happened very quickly.  (So quickly that it occurred to me - in one of those moments of morbid speculation that besets me when I'm overstimulated - that I could have slipped my hand under one of the mechanized pistons and wound up with Necco stigmata.)

Another topic discussed in the book is the ICS, the Initial Candy Supplier, in one's life.  Jen's ICS is her grandmother's house.  I have an ICS tie: Killer memories of buying Lik-m-aid and Whatchamacallits at the neighborhood 7/11, and equally killer memories of devouring my aunt Kathy's fudge at Christmas time.  I would palm giant smudgy handfuls of the fudge, stuff them in my pockets, do whatever it took to have it all to myself.  I was not a glutton; my cousins were.  What I was was the fudge equivalent of Martin Luther nailing up the 95 Theses in the dead of night, a fudge pariah  If my family had killed me for my many thefts, I would've been a fudge martyr.

Tomorrow Marcel and I are seeing the new Ice Cube disaster, err, movie:  Are We There Yet?  I'm actually kinda lil' bit sorta in a way looking forward to seeing it.  But then, I also actually LIKE my dentist; I walked the ENTIRE 2004 3M half-marathon on a destroyed knee; and on three occasions in my early 20s I put out cigarettes on my own body.  So yeah, you could say I've got a high tolerance for this type of torture.  (And we won't mention the genuine parental angst involved in seeing a bad PG movie starring the main lyricist for NWA's phemonenal Straight Outta' Compton.  Once upon a time I would've been grounded by my parents for listening to Cube; now I'm taking my son to a Sunday Ice Cube matinee.  "...cause when I got my sawed-off, bodies are hauled off..." indeed...sigh.)

zack

McShoarma

                                  VINCENT
                       Well, in Amsterdam, you can buy
                       beer in a movie theatre.  And I
                       don't mean in a paper cup either.
                       They give you a glass of beer, like
                       in a bar.  In Paris, you can buy
                       beer at MacDonald's.  Also, you
                       know what they call a Quarter
                       Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

                                  JULES
                       They don't call it a Quarter
                       Pounder with Cheese?

                                  VINCENT
                       No, they got the metric system
                       there, they wouldn't know what the
                       f*** a Quarter Pounder is.

                                  JULES
                       What'd they call it?

                                  VINCENT
                       Royale with Cheese.

                                  JULES
                            (repeating)
                       Royale with Cheese.  What'd they
                       call a Big Mac?

                                  VINCENT
                       Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call
                       it Le Big Mac.

We all know the scene and we all love the scene.  Even the ad folks at McDonald's.  Sure I may be shilling for the Man here, but this is a great Pulp Fiction-inspired commercial for its overseas product, the McShoarma.  Check it out.

zack

Candy Recap

This is my first post on the new family blog, and I meant to write a couple off-the-cuff Stinky Knowles style movie reviews (I read quite a bit of the Stinky's website while at work) -- but first things first -- first up is a xmas candy recap:

1. Jennifer got me a lil' five-pack of chocolate Stoli bottles, each bulging with fine corn syrupy vodka.  "Candy's dandy but liquor's quicker."
2. A one-pound golden box of Godiva truffles (owned by Campbell's Soup, btw), given to the fam by my work -- which I am still tortured over whether I should name or not.  My friend Howard has no bones about including his job in his blog, but then he lives in Finland, where the ruling class are not so litigious as here in Austin.  Maybe I'll deal with my cold feet later; in any case, what truffles!  Great Scott what truffles!    
3. Gertrude Hawk almondilicious chocolate-covered toffee treats given to me from my mother-in-law.  They are so delicious I would call them candy porn, but I won't today; did I mention my mother-in-law gave them to me?  Thus they are a confectionary gift from On High.
4. Beef Sticks.  Not a candy proper but a xmas phallic tradition a la the courtroom scene from Kentucky Fried Movie.  "We mean no harm to your planet..."  Plus if you soak the paper coating it makes for a fine, beefy tea.
5. My mother gave my son a dozen or so PEZ dispensers.  I wouldn't include it here, as they are technically his candy -- but he is quite the candy philanthropist (sp?), giving Jen and me a cut of every package he opened -- thus the PEZ becomes grist for the mill.  The dispensers are from a PEZ reissue of some Star Wars characters, a Lucas-y melange of Episodes 4-6: two Yodas, two Stormtroopers, one microcephalic Chewbacca, an X-Wing Fighter pilot who I think is Luke (in any case that's what I told my son so now my word is Law), a Darth Vader, a Boba Fett, and I don't know who else because Force be damned, Boba Fett IS Star Wars.  Him and Lando.
6. Dobosh Torte.  (I actually did not eat any Dobosh Torte this year, but as it is so delicious and fun to say I must pretend I did.)
7. Candy canes aplenty.  I love candy canes.  Who doesn't?  They've gotta be mint, too.  None of that postmodern fruit flavor, no cinnamon -- gimme mint.  Last night Jen and I watched Anchorman and in the extras the great Ron Burgundy says he has started a charity called Candy Canes For The World.  If this were true I would frickin' drain my 401(k) and Pay It Forward like a mug.  I looooove candy canes.    

That's enough candy recap.  Time for another cup of El Pico -- which today Jen compared to dishwater strained through a dirty sock, or a poo covered in burnt hair, or something similar.  Hater. 

Zack