Check this out
My wonderful husband got me an iPod for my birthday! He actually gave it to me early, so I have been playing around with it for the past two weeks, downloading audio and video podcasts, and filling it up with music. I subscribe to about a dozen podcasts, one of which is the "NPR Story of the Day".
On Friday I went to the mall to check out Pottery Barn (I have a gift certificate burning a hole in my pocket) and grab a gift for a friend's wedding on Saturday. I did some shopping, then grabbed some crappy Chinese food at the food court. Actually, I really like food court Chinese food for some reason, but everyone else seems to think it sucks. As I was sitting in the food court, eating my food I decided to catch up on my NPR podcasts. I first listened to "The Little Coffee Plant that Wouldn't Die" which was interesting and funny- a good lighthearted story to listen to over a birthday lunch. It was over too soon, I still had a few more bites of fried rice, so I chose the next podcast on the list "A Year to Live, A Year to Die".
Oh. My. Tears.
Since I can't do the story justice, here it the synopsis from the NPR website:
At age 48, Stewart Selman was told he had a malignant brain tumor. Less than 5 percent of people who are diagnosed with malignant tumors of the brain live for more than a year. To leave a record for his wife, Rebecca Peterson, and their two children, Selman began an audio diary.
Although Stewart knew his messages would be heard by a wider audience, Rebecca says she didn't have the courage to share them until now -- three years after her husband's death.
That doesn't do it justice either really. The story is actually his audio diary, combined with his wife's commentary on the audio diary, 3 years after his death. Whoa, right? What followed was one of the most honest and painful recollections of a wife's and mother's grief and anger that I have ever heard. I was immediately hooked, and I continued to listen as I dumped my tray and headed to my car. As I passed the Godiva stand she described her reaction to a doctor's advice after finding out that her husband had a brain tumor:
"He said, 'You know, I've seen a lot of families go through this and there's a lot of different ways people handle it. But there are some families can pull together and achieve this kind of transcendence,'" Rebecca remembered.
"And transcendence was the word he used -- where they go through their grief and their anger and everything else, but they really have something precious that they hold onto in the end. And I think one of the thing that I feel worst about is the fact that I never felt anything like transcendence. I never achieved anything like that with my family. Instead of things sort of coming together and us having a wonderful, glowing "transcendental" experience, it was really quite the opposite; things just kind of dissolved and got down to a very, very basic survival level."
You had to hear her voice as she said that, I actually gasped "Oh My" aloud...Not only did I look totally anti-social listening to a podcast in the mall, I also looked a bit crazy I'm sure. Ugh, you just knew at that point that this was not going to be one of those "The Notebook" love story endings. No- It was absolutely heartbreaking, the pain that the family was going through. And how incredibly honest she was, it was amazing. You can't help thinking about what you would do in the same situation, but the reality is, despite how much you know and love someone, you just can't know.... not when the when the area of your body that controls your actions and emotions is affected. How do you handle that when the person that you fell in love now scares you to death, and you feel that you need to protect your children from them?
I drove home listening to the story still, crying the entire way home as I listened to him speak as his condition got worse and he became weak and short of breath, and listened to her comment about how much pain she was in emotionally at the same time. Not necessarily the uplifting story I was expected for my little birthday food court lunch...But I am glad I listened to it.
I'll stop now- go check it out.
Oh, for an always lighthearted podcast- check this one out if you are not familiar with it. You don't have to be a triathlete to appreciate this one, always very funny, informative, and inspirational. Hell, I may even consider doing a triathlon after listening to a few more of these.
Jennifer
